Ian Frame, better known to his friends as Peem, was a 33-year-old shepherd, working in a job he loved with Billy Renwick’s Blackfaces at the Glen, Innerleithen.

He had a great social life, playing badminton, football; he had friends whom he regularly met up with to go out for a social drink.

He had a loving relationship with his girlfriend Lorna Watson, herself a farmer’s daughter from Laigh Knowglass Farm in East Kilbride, to share any problems he was facing with. He had future plans – Christmas day was to be spent at his sisters in Cardross with his niece and nephew, presents were already bought, and a New Year trip away with his friends was arranged. Life was, it would appear to everyone, going well for Ian.

So why on December 20, 2009, did he come home from a good night out with his friends and take his own life, leaving behind a family, girlfriend, and friends devastated?

Of course, there are no answers. Sharon Kinloch, of Walton Farm, Cardross, who is Ian’s oldest sister says: “How can you look for answers when you don’t even know the questions to ask. Why, is the obvious one, and the entire family has asked themselves that one, on too many occasions.”

“You question yourself all the time, what if we had done more, what if we had sat him down and spoke to him more, what if... and it is really difficult to grieve until you get over the way in which he died. In some ways, if it were an accident for instance, you could maybe understand, or an illness then that would be acceptable.

“When people who are terminally ill die, you can reconcile that it was a blessing that they passed away, as they were in pain and were suffering too much.

“I try to tell myself that although he looked fit and healthy, Ian must have been in pain, and we just didn’t know it, then maybe I will be able to accept it. But a young man with so much to live for, it adds another level to the grief which is so hard to deal with.”

John Kinloch, Ian’s brother in law, says: “He had been out, had a few drinks and gone home as normal, but you know what drink does, you can become maudlin at times due to drink, and it can give you either the stupidity, or the courage, to do things that you wouldn’t do when you are sober.”

But when there are no obvious signs, no cry for help to how Ian was feeling, how were his family supposed to suspect a problem. He didn’t talk about feeling low, he didn’t show signs of being depressed, he portrayed a happy exterior. He was going to work and seemingly enjoying life.

Lorna, Ian’s girlfriend, says: “He seemed great. When I first met Ian about two years ago, he told me that he had been to see a counsellor after a stressful time in his life, and as time went on, he was going less and less, because he felt he didn’t need to any more. He had moved on and life was good.

“The obvious thing to us now, is that there is so much help out there for people like Ian who may have been struggling with depression, he had so much to live for – if he could just have seen himself, and his future, the way we could see it, then that would have been half the battle won. But he was a typical man, who didn’t open up his feelings to anyone....Bottle it up!Be a man! When really it is the worst thing he could have done.”

Farming, as an industry, is prone to force a solitary life upon some workers, and Ian was no exception,.A fifth generation shepherd, he loved his job and was passionate and knowledgeable about breeding; he had pictures of all his top priced sheep in his house, and he could rhyme off their breeding from the top of his head.

Sharon says: “He once spent a frustrating hour trying to explain to a ‘townie’ the attraction in breeding top end sheep and the justification for the high prices for them.

“The ‘townie’ just wasn’t getting it, and the only way that he could explain the excitement that breeders felt, was to say “It’s like pole dancing for ’herds” which is a catchphrase which has stayed with us, and we are now using that phrase to help raise funds for a charity which could have helped someone like Ian, if only he could have picked up the phone to the right people.”

Sharon, her sister Gina, plus Lorna and a friend Fiona McKenzie, have decided that in order to focus their minds on a positive from such a negative situation, and to raise awareness to the help that is out there for young men, they will run the Edinburgh Hairy Haggis marathon in a relay.

They talked about doing something for Ian, but when they found out that the marathon is run on May 23, which is Ian’s birthday, the decision was made.

The ‘pole dancing for ‘herds’ girls are currently in training, and Sharon says: “The other three girls were already runners, but I am a complete novice, so training has been especially hard. But when I feel myself flagging, or I have just another mile to do in my schedule, I shout out, ‘Come on Ian, give me a boot up the bum to keep me going’ and I struggle on. It is a good incentive.”

The girls are running for CALM, (Campaign against living miserably) a charity which aims to provide assistance to young men aged 15-35 who need someone to talk to, and practical advice (see panel on next page for full details).

“We have opened a page in the website ‘Just Giving’ which allows people to donate directly to the charity. Go to www.justgiving.com/pole-dancing-for-herds,.People who maybe knew Ian, but don’t know me, can donate and show support to this really important cause.”

“I just think that if Ian had seen something like CALM in The Scottish Farmer, a paper he associated with, then maybe he would have picked up the phone.

“But to be honest, even by just talking about it, because we are not trying to hide what happened to Ian, everyone knows how he died, and by spreading the word, and if by sweating buckets and knackering up our knees helps save one other ‘wee brother’ it will all be bloody worth it.”