The V10-Plus has 602 horses snorting away

By Ken Fletcher

I HAD thought about putting a blow up sheep in the passenger seat just to try and justify to myself that readers of The Scottish Farmer would like to read about Audi's totally agriculturally impractical R8 V10 and V10-Plus.

But even the blow up sheep found it a tad tight in the cockpit, though having said that, once one had shoe-horned one's 'muscular' frame into the driver's seat, it was surprisingly comfy.

That's important. Because if you are to get the most out of this thrilling car, then you have to be comfortable. You have to concentrate on the road ahead, not on whether your bum feels big in this.

It's a key success for the designers as they have produced a car which is as 'liveable' with as, say the Audi TT, but which has an astonishing performance. Quite a lot of supercars feel 'edgy' as soon as you sit in them. The Audi, on the other hand, feels like slipping into a kid glove – not that it handles that way!

After all, we are talking about having at least 533 seemingly unbraked horses roaring like stallions just behind your head from a snorting 5.2-litre FSI engine. Opt for the V10-Plus, and there's 602 screaming horses chasing a field full of mares on heat on the loose when you press the red starter button.

The noise reaches tempest level when you hit the accelerator, mindful of the fact that this engine can rev all the way up to almost 9000rpm. Now that's a lot of thrashing about for any engine to cope with.

Oh jings crivvens, help ma boab. This is a bigger growler than you will find anywhere in Sauchiehall Street, in Glasgow, on a Christmas night out. It is awesome.

The standard R8 is in a nice understated Audi blue, while the V-10-Plus comes in a garish yellow which manages to be yellower than any banana you have ever seen. No need for that at all, as anyone will hear you long before they see you with this humdinger.

There are a few tweaks between the two version, like different wheels and bigger brakes, but it is really the performance that you are after with this type of car. You don't require too many frilly bits.

And jeezo, what a performance. The standard V10 does the 0-62 timed run in 3.5 seconds, while the Plus does it in 3.2 seconds. Not much you say, but in supercar terms, the numbers matter, even if they are only tenths of a second.

There's no manual gearbox now in the R8s, so you concentrate on making the most of the superb twin-clutch seven-speed auto, using the S-tronic flappy paddles if you wish. There are various driving 'modes' ('normal', 'comfort', 'individual' and 'dynamic', with a 'performance' option on the Plus) that you can choose from via a select system – use the 'comfort' one for driving around town so that you don't scare the natives and switch to 'dynamic' for the open road.

A quick hoolie up the Rest, then a swing down the Lochgoilhead road and up over Hell's Glen, really brings the best out of the amalgam of power, four-wheel-drive, taut chassis and handling. Just don't meet a Drimsynie lorry with a big caravan on it!

Talking of caravans ... the towing limit on the R8 is 'not applicable', according to the press bumph!

The R8 V10 can do about 24mpg on the combined cycle, while the V10-plus shaves 2mpg off that, so don't expect to use this as a runabout.

And the price of this ludicrously impractical rural road goer? It's at least £120,000, with around £15k more for the Plus designation. Cheap at the price ... shame it can't tow a trailer.

Santa, either version will do, but if you could just stretch to getting the V10-Plus version down the lum ...