SIR, – I find myself at my desk. It is 1.48 am.I can't sleep I am so fed up. I have to laugh (or try too) because I see my payment for the BPS claim is showing as 'anticipated' on the rural payments website (have to be careful with yer h',s when spelling that).

Oh yes, what a system that is! It seems to be working at last? Sadly, it is the only thing I find funny at the moment. I was hoping to buy some baby calves in December and January to rear for sale as store cattle in the autumn, to help my cash flow and eat the hay I made for them – but what the heck.

It has saved me a bit of work this cashflow problem! In my real time world, the LFASS payment is now not annual because it is more than a year since I got the last one!! I can tell you it is 'anticipated'!

I now see that I also need to go on a course to operate my sprayer? Because it is as old as I am, it will have to be replaced.

I thought I would just use a knapsack one instead to control a few docks and thistles, but It will cost me £600 at least to get the training and paperwork sorted, so that ain't on either!

I thought about seeking gainful employment elsewhere. Wow! No certificate for my boots, my old hard hat has no sticker on it; indeed, I have no sticker on my person to operate anything I used to operate.

I thought someone was going to cut red tape! They probably did, but if you cut one piece of tape you end up with two!

I just wonder if we are witnessing a new suit of clothes being made for an emperor somewhere? These are the people who want us to believe they could run a country, never mind everything else they can't keep right! Potholes spring (no pun intended) to mind!

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