So what happened to the strong and stable Government we were promised Theresa?

The reality is if you want strong and stable politics don’t come to the UK – any part of it! Have you ever seen such a mess at probably the most important time for the country in a generation, with the impact of Brexit now looming large.

Once again, the best interests of the country and its people are very much an afterthought as politicians across the UK scrabble around to feather their own nests, further their own interests and play their dirty little power games.

In Northern Ireland, the DUP couldn’t do a deal with Sinn Fein to run the country in the best interests of its people before the general election. And now, with the cardboard cut out we have for a Prime Minister in the shape of Theresa May, it’s taken two weeks and a £1bn to do a deal with them.

Isn’t it amazing. Two months ago they were scrabbling about trying to cover up the fiasco of the biomass RHI scandal in Ulster and, bingo, now they’ve won the lottery. I’m sure I’m not the only one to have noticed that having struggled to do a deal with 10 DUP MP’s, then how the hell is she going to manage to do any kind of deal with 27 EU Member States all totally fed up and not a little bemused at the political pantomime which is currently playing out across the UK.

Mind you, we should be grateful to the DUP as part of this deal is to ensure support for agriculture continues at least until the next election – whenever that may be.

For someone who claimed to be ‘strong, stable and considered’, have you ever seen such a fall from grace. She has done more U-turns in a month during the election campaign than Jeremy Clarkson. Amazingly she even managed to make a total muppet like Jeremy Corbyn look credible.

Mind you he has reverted back to type almost instantaneously with an absolutely cringing speech on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury – embarrassing doesn’t even get close to describing his appearance.

And with the Tory Party in total disarray and the embattled Theresa trying valiantly to hang onto power, where does that leave us.

Well, pretty much at the mercy of that well-known agricultural and food industry expert, Michael Gove. It would seem Theresa had to have him in the Cabinet to stop his endless plotting and unfortunately for us Defra was the only chair left when the music stopped.

In his first public appearances, he has done the usual for a minister that knows absolutely nothing (and I mean absolutely nothing) about his brief, namely reassure the punters (us) that he wants ‘open and frank dialogue’. In other words, 'give me some kind of heads up please because I don’t have a bloody scooby what this agriculture and food thing is all about – I’m only here so I don’t stab Theresa in the back like I have with almost everyone else I’ve ever pledged loyalty to, most recently my university chums David (Cameron) and Boris (Johnson)'.

The Agriculture Bill in the Queens Speech is equally lacking in any grasp of detail of the subject. Apparently, it aims to ‘provide stability for farmers’ and ensure an effective system of support replaces the CAP. Thanks to the DUP it would seem.

Actually it’s quite funny really – inside the EU we relied on the Irish and French to look after farming, now it seems we need the Northern Irish to do the same!

Oh, and I almost forgot, ‘it seeks to protect the natural environment for future generations’– whatever that’s meant to mean.

Mind you, I’m over the moon with this statement as the other night I counted 18, yes 18, curlews all wandering around in a recently cleared silage field. It was an awesome sight which I had never witnessed before, and is what I take natural environment to mean, at least to me.

As ever, the devil of Brexit will be in the detail which at the moment is non-existent and the omens for anything sensible happening soon are really not good if a recent advert in a paper I saw is anything to go by.

Defra are recruiting a person ‘to help design a new system of supporting farmers after Brexit’. I promise you, I’m not making this up, but the advert ended with these chilling words ‘knowledge of food, farming and plant health issues is helpful, but not essential’.

So, there we have it folks, our future is in their hands. No experience, no clue about the subject with all its complexities, in fact nae idea.

Mind you north of the Border it’s just as bad. Wee Nicola is still smarting at the kicking rural Scotland gave her at the ballot box, apparently turned up at the RHS and didn’t even mention the ongoing subsidy chaos.

Then, the next day it sneaked out that our marvellous, efficient and competent SNP administration are away to Brussels to ask for another extension for them to pay us our long overdue support payments.

This isn’t to speed up payments to farmers of course, this is another last-ditch attempt to try and save £60m of Scottish taxpayers' money in disallowance payments to the EU for these IT payment failures for the second year in succession.

So now not only has she lost all sense of judgement by wittering on about another independence referendum instead of running the country, she can’t even look farmers in the eye at the RHS and admit that she and her administration won’t make the end of June deadline for paying much needed support to her desperate customers.

Pathetic and unforgivable actually and no doubt a contributory factor to much of rural Scotland being painted blue recently at the election.

To make matters worse, this was after Fergus Ewing came out crowing in the press a couple of weeks ago about how well he and his officials were performing in relation to this fiasco.

Apparently, those of us that haven’t been paid are no more than a ‘bushy tail’ at the end of a process, according to the front page of a recent article in The SF.

He was maybe trying to be funny, but somehow myself and the hundreds, maybe thousands, of others who are in this position courtesy of his administration's serial incompetence for nearly three years have had a sense of humour failure.

At best his utterances were insensitive and crass, at worst another appalling political misjudgement in a long list at the moment. Interestingly, Audit Scotland seem to agree with us, regarding this disastrous IT system.

Not only did it recently point out the risk of Scottish taxpayers footing the bill for further threatened disallowance (the reason for the appeal to the EU), but also pointed out the total lack of robustness in the system.

This is despite a complete change of civil servants supposedly brought in to sort things out who are now in as big a hole as their predecessors. A hole that could get even bigger as Audit Scotland make clear because ‘there is not yet a fully developed or tested plan for recovering the IT system in the event of a breakdown’.

In other words, ScotGov currently don’t have a plan A that is even close to delivering a satisfactory service for its customers and, astonishingly, Plan B doesn’t even exist.

No wonder rural Scotland has turned against the SNP and, by definition, independence – they simply can’t be trusted as this clearly demonstrates.

So, there we have it ladies and gentlemen, there is nothing strong and stable about governments anywhere in the UK as it seems one is as useless and incompetent as the other.

Thank goodness for my curlews and a record crop of first cut silage – I’m off to the pub!