'Relax Meester Jock, I'm just warming to the task!'

A VISIT to the Turkish barber's shop can be an illuminating experience, not to say decidedly scary when the mannie approaches with that flaming meth-soaked bit of cotton wool on a stick which is used to singe the unnecessary sproutings from the likes of your lug holes.
However, it proved something else for Jock 'The Rooster' Currie, from Southhook, Kilmaurs, when he went in for his usual head shave at his local Turkish scissor-man last week. We are unsure whether a refreshment had been taken or not, but Jock apparently opted for a more fulsome depilation for men, sometimes known at the 'back, sack and crack'.
We are assured that this is not a painless exercise, but Jock is now a bit smoother than he used to be!