IT was a bad week to be a beast up Glenshee last week, as a couple of birthday bashes resulted in a stirk, a hogg and four deer being utilised to feed the masses.

A belated 21st party for Rachel Houstoun, of Glenkilrie, welcomed just short of 190 friends and family to the do in the marquee in the garden on Saturday, but not to be outdone, nearly 250 turned up the following day to celebrate dad, David Houstoun’s 60th.

And what a spread was put on by the team on Sunday, as both a hogg and hog were spit roasted and joined by haunches of venison and all the salad you could hope for – before some cracking local strawberries and a few hundred meringues whipped up by Morag.

Here’s hoping for an invite to the next Glenkilrie do if they were anything to go by!

Not good with locks

HE’S very bright boy is Allan Blackwood, of Auldhouseburn, Muirkirk – just don’t let him near any lockable doors!

It must be that he isn’t much used to having a door locked – which is surprising around about Muirkirk! – but recently, on consecutive days, he found himself on the wrong side of a locked door.

First, in a hostelry on Loch Lomond, he found himself locked out of his room and had to seek assistance from the front desk to afford entry.

One day later, late in the evening and Allan found himself locked in the toilet while lodging at Lochgoilhead. To be fair, when the handle and spindle for the lock falls off, there’s not much you can do.

However, the hostess with the mostess, Susan Campbell heard the plaintive cries for help and was able to let him oot, complete with goonie and slippers (on her, not him)!

Graham’s milking it

GRAHAM’S The Family Dairy are taking milk to a new high appointing the UK’s first milk sommelier.

Doug Wood (42) has been recruited to sniff out flavours in its range of pintas – and match them with foods.

The booze expert, who is from the Grahams’ home town of Bridge of Allan, said the firm’s organic, semi-skimmed – with hints of vanilla and buttermilk – is perfect to drink with cookies.

He added: “It’s amazing how complex a humble glass of milk can be...”

Graham’s marketing boss, Carol Graham, said: It’s just a bit of fun, but its clear that there is a Graham’s milk for any palate.”

Jack and Victor’s busman’s holiday!

JACK and Victor have just returned from holiday – that’s George Borland, from Tarbolton, and Matt Auld, from Pollok Highlanders.

The pair have just returned from a spring break to the Channel Islands with their long suffering wives.

It seems that the dynamic duos take a take a short getaway every year – and every year, no matter where they go, Geordie manages to arrange a dairy herd visit.

This year was no exception. So, one of their precious four days was taken up inspecting coos udders. I am sure their spouses were impressed ... as always!

The next challenge must surely be for Matt to arrange a Highland cattle visit wherever they go next ... now that won’t be easy in Tenerife, or maybe Matt will travel ground already trod up to Oban!

Arla’s monster cheese

DAIRY giant, Arla, has rattled some cages in Trumpland with a racy and controversial advertisement on US TV promoting Arla’s cheese as not being made from cows which are monsters and given added hormones.

The advert depicts a six-eyed monster with razor sharp horns and electrified fur representing a child’s impression of the hormone BST.

BST manufacturer, Elanco, has initiated legal action against Arla demanding the advert be pulled. But as of this week, it’s still running and gaining more publicity everyday, which must be great news for Arla’s cheese sales.