He is at it again, the clever loon Michael Gove. So I have to write to The Jockish Farmer, again!

This time Gove has commissioned a report saying that we in Britain must slash farm animal numbers massively if we are to have a hope of meeting the UK’s climate change targets. We are all now to eat beans. It’s the farting you see, but I am confused by this.

To tell you the truth lentils and beans have an appalling effect on me, always have. We have a room for me to sleep in if I have eaten them, so the climate can be preserved. But presumably our extra collective human farting doesn’t count, although mine alone might tip the scales to Armageddon.

This Brexiteer Veganism is going to make it a much more unpleasant place to live in MWHO ( my wife’s humble opinion). ‘Is it going to be worth preserving the planet?’ the women of Britain will all be asking.

Yours etc

Adrian Hill




PA31 8PQ