Sir, – Oh no, I don’t believe it! The clever twit Michael Gove is at it again – I suspect he says stupid things just to annoy me.

His career really is an exercise in careering from topic to topic, a true careerist if ever there was one. Not content with messing up education in England by teeing off every teacher by calling them the blob and reintroducing the most useless rote learning techniques of the past, he moved on to wrecking the prison service and judiciary, then became the leading light (a tautology if ever there was one) of Brexit and starts to impoverish us all.

He then moves onto agriculture, says that climate change is caused by cow and sheep farming, so we all need to eat beans instead, now he wants to ban my wood burning stove and open wood fire!

I have had enough. Quite enough. We are founding the ‘Gilets Vert’ to fight this man. Known colloquially as ‘the Greenjackets’ you will be able to spot us by our distinctive green jackets – tweed, camouflage, plain green, Barbour or Alan Paine, preferably rather worn, with a dodgy zip and handed down from generation to generation. Covered in dog hair, the uniform is recognised everywhere.

We need to rise up in the face of this towny provocation, don our jackets and declare independence. Truly we need to take control back from this man.

Adrian Hill