Let’s hope that the tourist versus coo problem as evidenced in Derbyshire this past week, never happens in Scotland – I think, then, there really would be a riot!

I suppose, in a way, it has already happened in some townships up and down the West Coast and if my memory serves me right, the little gorgeousness that is Plockton had at one time banned coos from the streets and last year took a vote to allow the cows back in to the village after an absence of 15 years?

Thankfully, they can still be found in many enclaves up and down that neck of the woods. It’s beholden on the keepers of those cattle with a right to roam, though, to let people know that lambing/calving is approaching and that it’s best to steer clear of ‘cute’ calves and lambs in case mummy is hiding behind a hedge.

Dogs are a big No No. Indeed, it would be better not to take them into such areas at all as a matronly Highland coo will take much umbrage to a dog and make chase – in fact, this is one time when a dog owner should let go of the lead. Best let the cow chase the mutt around rather than the owner.

Jack and Victor

THERE was a bit of a guffaw around the ring at last weekend’s Dairy Expo, in Carlisle, when the winner of one class was named as Kepculloch Atwood Snowboots ... from the Still Game Genetics Company.

The Raider suspects the Michael was being extracted by the owners in calling themselves that – they were none other than the Jack and Victor of the showring, Hughie Kennedy, from Ayrshire, and Robert Steele, of Stirlingshire, and their pal, the Winston-esque Ally Cook.

Of course, those from North of the Border got the scam entirely, but there might have been a few bemused faces on visitors from further south. It did, however, put the normally unflappable auctioneer, Glyn Lucas, in a bit of a state!