A dog's dinner

AS A bit of a kid-on cook myself, I follow a guy on the 'net, called Luke MacKay – https://www.lukemackay.co.uk/ – and he's a great fan of using locally produced farm-gate meat and vegetables. Great news.

However, last week he gave me a deja vu moment, when he wrote: "... You know how I smoked, then cooked overnight in cider, my 3.5kg gammon from @farmisonUK [an award-winning farm-based supply business]? Then glazed it with a cider, mustard and clove syrup – basting it every 10 mins until it was burnished rich mahogany?

"Well the effing dog has just eaten three-quarters of it. Prick."

That made me laugh out loud and reminded me of the Big Border Terrier Scandal, of 2012, when the matriarch of the trio got a hold of a chicken and had it half-eaten before I 'saved' the rest – to be eaten later, of course!

Her indoors reminded me that at least dogs are pretty obvious with their gluttony, while cats can be sneaky. The recently departed Hawes, from the country residence, was a dab hand at sneaking away a chicken wing, or a we nip at a side of salmon! Sometimes the only evidence was a solitary cat hair.

We've all been there ... but how many disposed of the entire carcase after the pets have had a nibble?

Teuchter raid

THE TEUCHTERS certainly know how to party. That's a given.

So, The Raider was not really surprised on a recent Saturday to meet up with some old pals, that a couple of 'extras' had just blown in from the West ... quite literally. Stuart Campbell and John Semple, from Argyll – two of the finest props Mid Argyll had ever produced [their own words] – were on a mission to take in the Glasgow Warriors game at Scotstoun against La Rochelle.

Usually, the pair don't make it past the Park Bar – and get an air lock when they travel any further east – but had decided to take in the delights of the city centre' Maltman bar to meet The Raider.

I even broke the habit of a lifetime and bought the poor lost souls a drink! But, it was great craic and at least a little salve for them later when the unfancied French team beat Glasgow's finest 7-12!

However, I think there may have been sore heids later on!

New defender of the faith?

WE ALL miss the Land Rover Defender – but after a three-year gap, a new one is just around the corner. But will it be the same as the much loved fix with a spanner and a three-pun hammer old one?

Many doubt that the utilitarian aspect of the 'old' Defender will be much in evidence. However, it would appear that there might be a UK-made alternative.

Over a friendly pint at the Grenadier pub in London, car enthusiast and experienced adventurer, Jim Ratcliffe, petro-chemical giant, INEOS' chairman, said he identified a gap in the market for a stripped-back, utilitarian 4 x 4, which could withstand the daily punishment the likes of farmers would put it through.

So gripped was Mr Ratcliffe's imagination, that he now has more than 200 of the world’s best engineers deep into the task of building what he has called the Grenadier from the ground up.

Apparently, it's all function over form – I just hope he doesn't expect it to run on red bio-diesel!

Floss outshines comedian Jim!

JIM SMITH, the farming comic, was famous this year – at least in The SF – for giving our readers tips on what farmers should look for in a dating service. But it seems that the increasingly popular comedian has been outdone by his sheepdog, Floss.

So far this year, the smart-looking canine has appeared on BBC iPlayer, BBC Scotland Farm Diaries and recently she made a cameo appearance at the Blairgowrie panto.

Advice to Jim – never work with children and animals ... they just upstage you and steal yer work!