An heretofore undiscovered work by our national bard, Robert Burns, found tucked into a nook in the stonework of Scott Brown's lambing shed, and submitted to The Scottish Farmer by Robert Smith...

Ode tae a vegan

"Oh wee sleekit cowrin vegan beastie,

What a lack of iron's in thy breastie!

So pasty faced from eatin' nuts,

You'd think there's a rumen in yer guts.

Nae purpose left for coos and sheep

No reason left for them to keep...

Yet climate change it rages on,

Not caused by coos, cos they're all gone,

So a new investigation's starting...

It's silage munching vegans farting!"



(Robert Burns, date unknown)