Strong contender for 'The longest name in the UK Award', former convenor of what was the Scottish Landowner’s Federation, former head of the Red Deer Commission, NFUS hill farming convenor,, author and poet – Patrick Gordon-Duff-Pennington – blew out 90 candles on his most recent birthday cake.

An orator of some note, PGDP now lives in well-earned retirement in one of Scotland’s glorious coastal towns.

Lockdown has created loneliness for many, including the naturally gregarious Patrick. Thankfully, the recent relaxation allowed visits from a favourite friend who has a waggy-dog tail – Fergus the terrier.

Now Fergus is one of those thoughtful visitors who brings his own food – a tasty selection of doggy biscuits. However, it seems that 'Fergus the wiggy waggy tailed terrier', is not the only one who finds his biscuits tasty. For Fergus returned home from a recent visit to Patrick, very hungry.

His host, after taking a liking to the tasty treats, had scoffed the total contents of Fergus the wiggy waggy tailed terrier’s doggie bag.

A speedy telephone call to the local hospital re-assured Patrick and his team that no harm had been done – despite Patrick declaring himself to be feeling a little 'Rrrruuuffff!'

Giant 'shroom

USUALLY when a mushroom is found in Lanarkshire, it soon appears on street corners with a monetary value attached.

However, if it was done on a per kilo basis, then the absolute stoatir – it might even have reached 'brammer' status? – of a 'shroom found by Colin Munro, near Larkhall, would have been worth trading at a price per kg.

For this 'thing' was the size of a bin-lid and was in a semi-attractive coco-de-mer shape. And, the only thing 'magic' about this one was ... it tasted delicious when cooked by Colin's wife, Marjory. Bet they were getting fed up of mushroom soup by the end of the week though! No ill effects were encountered in its consumption.