HIGHLAND cattle breeders have ended their show season in some style and to good effect at a charity fun(d)raiser last weekend.

Sir Michael and Lady Sally Nairn threw open the gates of their Balnabroich Estate, in Strathardle, to welcome a veritable horde of cattle, breeders and wellwishers to raise money for PATCH, a palliative care charity.

As well as the usual shenanigans, the double act of Pinky (Allan Prentice) and Perky (Jim McKechnie) were there acting as ‘security’, just in case things got out of hand and a riot ensued.

The pair, plus the Hunter and Logan families, managed to be so suitably infused by the flavour of the evening that they paid £180 for an 18 lb turkey – they’ll be lucky if that feeds half of them! And Rosemary Hunter paid £300 for a hirsute waistcoat made out of Highland cow hair (see page 12), taken from Catherine of Millerston, a beast once owned by the late Tom McLatchie, of Millerston, Mauchline, and made for him by Christina Sargent, a feltmaker of Wheems, South Ronaldsay, in Orkney, in 1995.

I think Rosie’s husband, Steven, should be wary of wearing this near the bull!

Waverley memories

THERE WAS a wee twinge of nostalgia when I read this week of the demise of the Waverley Hotel, in Perth.

What was once the stockman’s refuge from the trials and tribulations of the Perth Bull Sales – which were held just across the road (it is now a Morrisons store, which hopefully still parades the best of Scotch beef!) – has been flattened to make-way for a multi-million pound re-development.

This will include a gym. But I can tell you with some certainty that there were more than a few gymnastics going on when the bull sales were in town!

It was, of course, the venue of choice for legendary stockmen, such as Dave Smith, who even had his own corner seat at the bar. If I remember right, it was brandy and port that crossed the bar for many a night – “Best hangover cure ever”, said Dave. He must have needed it, for he drank plenty of it!

I think there may even have been a stockman’s disco on occasion, which was probably more of a cattle market than anything that was going on in MacDonald Fraser and Co’s premises!

Funny books

BOOK FESTIVALS are rarely a bundle of fun, but this year’s Wigtown Book Festival – one of Scotland’s biggest – promises to be a side-splitter ... and all thanks to a farmer.

From Brexit to the Women’s Rural, to a Fifer’s version of Star Wars, stand-up comedian and Perthshire farmer, Jim Smith, will reveal the bizarre realities of country life in Scotland at this year’s festival.

Home-time for Jim is farming 300 acres of mixed arable and livestock near Blairgowrie, but on Friday and Saturday nights he’s more likely to be found on stage at clubs in Edinburgh or Glasgow.

His act explores the realities of how country people see the world and he puts to rights those misguided people who believe that it’s landowners and farmers who run the countryside – it’s really the Women’s Rural who actually hold the whip-hand.

“It may be farmers who grow the world’s food,” he told The Raider, “but none of them can cook any of it. And that’s where the Women’s Rural come in – they have control of what we eat.”

Attendees will also be able to hear of Jim’s take on the difference between Countryfile and real life and the challenges of finding a girlfriend when you live on a farm (and the perils of internet dating).

Jim’s also taken part in the Edinburgh Fringe, and he recalled: “Edinburgh’s full of all sorts of unusual folk during the Fringe, but I think people were pretty surprised when they saw all these Scottish farmers in check shirts piling in and out of my venue for the show.”

Jim’s show is part of a programme of entertainment at the festival His show, The Standup Farmer, is on Tuesday, September 26, at 7.30pm in the County Buildings. Tickets are £7.

Cold comfort

I HAVE to hand it to the PR team at Merial Animal Health for making me sit up and read their campaign to raise awareness of calf pneumonia.

Apparently, they want me to remain fit and healthy too, with freedom from the sniffles. To that end, I am now in possession of a hand sanitiser to stop the spread of infection; balm-infused tissues to stop me sniffing; throat lozenges; Lemsip to keep infection at bay and, best of all, a bar of chocolate!