ALWAYS one with an eye for a bargain, Castle Douglas’ NFU Mutual main man, Mickey Coutts, thought he got the deal of the day when he bought a second-hand shooting stick on the internet for 10 quid.

He got more than he bargained for, though, when it came to testing said stick – it broke from under him, sending him crashing to the deck. The upshot was that poor Mickey spent the weekend in hospital in agony, only tempered by the administration of horse painkillers!

I am sure he will be fit and ready for the forthcoming shooting and fishing season, but I fear his days are numbered banging on the big bass drum for the Kirkcudbright Pipe Band.

This little piggy went to Longfauld

THERE have been strange happenings in the night at Jimmy Taylor's Longfaulds Farm, near Auchterarder, when wife Barbara went to feed the pet lambs late one evening.

She discovered a porcine intruder in the ranks but, having 'had words' with Jimmy earlier in the day, didn't want to give in to what she thought was a practical joke on her behalf. Instead, in the morning, she asked Jimmy where he had got the pig and was alarmed as he was by his lack of recognition.

Not quite believing Barbara and thinking she'd maybe lost the heid, Jimmy louped out of bed to check on the intruder and sure enough, there was a piggy infiltrator nestled among the pet lambs.

Now, with Jimmy and daughter Katie having come first and second at the pig races at Braco Show, Jimmy phoned prime suspect, Kirk Gauld, to see whether they had in fact won a pig of their own rather than the tenner given as prize money.

But it seems no-one knows where this little piggy came from and when the Taylors rang the police to inform them, were simply laughed at. The Taylors have, however, informed the department of their new addition – which had its ear tags cut out no less – and are pleased their pig licence is still of use.

This little piggie wants to rap

Following all the hoo-ha about the nationwide search to find the next big name in rap – naw, it didn't appear on my radar either – Pork Farms, makers of the UK’s best selling pork pie, have created a new music single with their own 'Mash-up' winner, Joe Harrison (AKA Joe Burger)!

The track, ‘King of Pork Pie’, is a light-hearted, farm life inspired rap, is available to download via iTunes and Spotify, with royalties going back to the rural community via a donation to the National Federation of Young Farmers Clubs.

Pork Farms’ competition was judged by DJ and producer, Chris Stark, and well as Hot Money Music Studios founder, Patrick Osei.

To find out more about the Pork Farm-ers’ Mash-up Competition, visit the Pork Farms Facebook page.