USING hi-tech facial recognition technology isn't just for spotting trouble makers or for signing in to your bank accounts. It's also being used in animal welfare trials to work out if pigs are happy or not.

Animal behaviourists from the SRUC are trying to prove that pigs do have a happy life before being killed for meat. Some 36 pigs in the trial are being asked to 'watch the birdie' in a 2 and 3D camera-based system which can assess whether they are happy, stressed or in pain.

Apparently, the challenge is to get them to look at the camera properly. A rattle of feed in pail should be enough for that, I would think.

The Tarbolton Terrorist

STILL GAME is alive and well in the farming community, and two of the most celebrated, have been involved in some scrapes recently.

Hughie (Jack) Kennedy, from East Carngillan, Tarbolton, was huckled by the polis on a trip to the big Holstein Libramont Show, in Belgium. The bold Hughie was on a bus trip organised by Graham Kirby, of Absolute Genetics, and Glyn Lucas, of H and H, leaving from Hull.

There may have been the odd refreshment on the journey over and the end result was the Hughie lost his passport, never to be found, on the ship. So, on arrival in foreign parts, he was surrounded by armed polis and escorted to an 'interview room' – quite what they made of his broad Errshire accent, God only knows. However, after a two-hour interrogation and a few signed papers later, the 'Tarbolton Terrorist' was released into the waiting bus.

At one point he was the only thing, man and beast, from Carngillan that was without a passport! His parting shot was: "Listen, this goes nae further ....". Too late Hughie.

Infiltrating the Institute!

Still Game 2, saw Robert (Victor) Steel, from Kepculloch, Balfron, and his pal and neighbour Willie (Winston) Risk, decided to go to the local Women's Institute to hear Aileen Neilson, the Scottish wheelchair curler, give a talk. It was a busy meeting, with two little thorns surrounded by so many roses.

Maybe they wished they hadn't been there, but The Raider believes their scone making and knitting is coming on a treat – and will they will be doing flower arranging for the local Drymen Show? We need to know.

A shaggy dog story

When Andrew Penny, of East Saucher, Kinrossie, Perth, was just 14-years-old he was given a Beardie pup by his uncle at nearby Hillfoot Farm.

The dog turned out to be what can best be described as a 'reenging brute'. He was run over by one of his aunties and sustained a broken leg which was plastered and had to be left on for 14 days.

The night before the eagerly awaited 14th day, the dog was tied up in his kennel as usual, but in the morning there was no sign of the leg. He was taken back to the vet and the remaining stump was tidied up.

Even as a three-wheeler, he would disappear for a while, no doubt on the ran dan, until one evening the family took a phone call from an irate lady who said: "Is that your dog coming down here? Our dog has had pups off it!" Andrew's father calmly replied: "Have the pups got three legs?"

"No," came the emphatic reply. "Well," said his father: "It can't be our dog, as it only has three legs."

"Oh," she said, "I'm sorry to have bothered you, Mr Penny."