Farmer's View: An industry crying out for a blueprint for the future

I don’t watch soap operas, I never have – I hate them. I used to be an avid watcher of the news, now I’m not – I hate it. Why? Because when you put the TV on these days, it is almost impossible to tell the difference between the news and a soap opera.

Nicola Sturgeon, when she was First Minister, used to sneer at the pantomime politics of Westminster and the permanent Tory internal civil war. Now, she is part of the pantomime, with the explosive news that she has been arrested and released without charge, having been questioned about the soap opera surrounding the SNP’s finances.

In Westminster, Tory MPs have been resigning their seats in anticipation of a knighthood or peerages, or whatever other junkets are getting thrown around like confetti, only to discover Santa didn’t come.

Not to be outshone, Lorna Slater, the embattled Green Minister, having managed to totally screw up the Deposit Return Scheme that was a flagship policy for this administration, was caught out not behaving in the environmentally, climate friendly way she espouses.

We are lectured about by her and her pals day in day out about damaging the environment with emissions from livestock, but it seems Ms Slater would rather preach than practice what she preaches.

Apparently, on a recent visit to Aberdeen, she went on the train – so what, you may ask? Well, she went on the train but her ministerial limo drove from Edinburgh to Aberdeen to meet her off the train, ferry her around her very important meetings, where no doubt she lectured her audiences on her green credentials as well, and how hellish what they do is for the planet, then the car took her home!

You really couldn’t make it up, but then you don’t have to because our politics these days is really just a soap opera. Most of the participants are just second rate actors with little substance and even less talent.

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They are more interested in just talking to each other or lobby groups who are a mirror of them, or issuing press releases and photos making it seem as if they are actually making a difference. The definition of success is being on the news, not actually achieving anything useful which is newsworthy.

Meanwhile, in the real world, interest rates continue to spiral out of control with the ineffectual Governor of the Bank of England, Andrew Bailey, and his second rate economic modellers and advisors showing about as much skill and effectiveness as the Chancellor who appointed him.

His career, like many senior politicians north and south of the Border, can most kindly be summed up as defined by mediocrity and scary as it is, our immediate economic prospects sit firmly in the palms of his hands.

Just as scary, but yet another example of the failure of political leadership is the recent publication of a report by ex-NFUS CEO, James Withers, into the skills and learning system in Scotland. Or maybe, more accurately, lack of it as any business trying to recruit well-qualified staff knows all too well.

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Remember education and training were the keystone of what Nicola Sturgeon asked (no, demanded actually) to be judged on. After seven months, James concluded that the current skills, training and education system is a long way from being fit for purpose.

Or, in his words: “The skills system is not fit for the substantially different future approaching us. We need a radical rethink or the job opportunities that arise from a changing economy risk being lost; a repeat of the 1908s."

I use this as further evidence of a totally broken political system where even the stated flagship area of education of a leader in power for nine years has been a total disaster along with the other former jewel in her crown – the now broken NHS.

So, if second rate leaders in politics and in vital publicly appointed positions (I could name dozens of these), have no real strategy for their roles, how can they ever begin to address the inevitable big issues that arise in our day to day lives? The answer, of course, is they can’t.

If your strategy is a series of ad-hoc aspirational announcements, PR opportunities and photocalls, you will get found out and that is exactly what has happened. No substance, no foundation based on reality, no real grasp of the issues, very few advisors or officials who really understand, want to understand, or actually 'get it', and the result is the mess we are in across almost every policy area at UK and Scottish levels.

For farming in Scotland, that was demonstrated in spades at the recent, excellent, Scotland's Beef Event, at Dalswinton, near Dumfries. Peter and Sarah Landale are to be congratulated on hosting a well attended event in a fabulous setting.

The no show of Mairi Gougeon, or any senior SG ag official tells us all we need to know about their attitude to 'real' farming and beef production, in particular. It was interesting that there were a couple of officials clearly there to hear how much criticism she was getting for her disgraceful non attendance, but there were more retired ag officials than current ones.

Speaking to a few of them who actually understand and care about farming and rural Scotland, they are as disgusted at the antics of the current mob as farmers are.

Anyway, had the bold Mairi decided to join the thousands of beef farmers enjoying seeing the excellent cattle on show, she would have learnt a few things.

Firstly, Scottish farmers are crying out for change and they/we are desperate to know what the hell we will face by way of government intervention and support in the future. If either she or her officials had any gumption at all, they would realise that the heifer calves lying content in the Dumfries-shire sunshine last week will be just starting their adult lives by the time we know what kind of shitshow, or inspection regime they will be part of.

Secondly, having folk like the well-informed, Stevie Thomson, from SRUC, or Brian Richardson, from Virgin Money, having to behave like Mystic Meg because her policy officials don’t cut the mustard is a disgrace and totally unacceptable. These officials wouldn’t survive five minutes in business in the real world with their antics of the last few years and they need replaced.

Thirdly, there were thousands of visitors talking to dozens of entrepreneurial stall holders who are doing some amazing things to make their beef enterprises more efficient. And yes, Ms Gougeon, Mr Burgess, Mr Kerr et al, they are also getting on with the job of saving the planet from climate change and improving bio-diversity without you.

You just never bother to ask the right people, or find out by going to see what is happening on the ground from one end of Scotland to the other. You are all too busy talking to each other and the armies of lobbyists who wouldn’t understand a real farm if they saw it, or worse, dancing to the tune of the Green Party.

Brian Richardson, of Virgin Money – big lenders to farming – pleaded from the platform to make whatever new support system is introduced as simple as possible. His experience of the new English Schemes was fascinating and scary in equal measure.

The number of Scottish store cattle heading south being testament to that shambles. But I’m afraid from everything I already know and heard that day (most of it pure guess work, I realise), our new system, whenever it appears, will be anything but simple.

An initial tender for the IT system to administer this Alice in Wonderland Scheme has already been advertised to the tune of £92m. Yesm folks, they steal our Bew Money but can find £92m to build an IT system for a scheme, or schemes that still don’t even exist.

It has all the hallmarks of the BPS £250m IT debacle, Fergusson Marine or any other government-led infrastructure project you care to mention, that no-one is ever held to account for. Maybe they’ll bring back Richard Lochhead to lead it, he seems to have been forgiven for pissing away hundreds of millions of our money, but I guess in soap operas, that’s ok.

So, Ms Gougeon, we all had a grand day at Dalswinton and your non-attendance will never be forgotten or forgiven. Especially when we discovered that you were in Brussels for EU Green Week, announcing how important peatland protection is for the umpteenth time.

This, with a whole bunch of other environmental conditions, will undoubtedly be the cornerstone of any new support payments going forward. And it will mirror the same old, same old shite emanating from Brussels that we thought we could leave behind post-Brexit, and do something new, different and bespoke for Scotland.

Not a bit of it. SG want Scotland to be at the 'heart of how the EU is progressing its rural policies and legislation'. OMG, I rest my case – we’re really are b.....d if this Green-inspired nonsense continues.